Posts tagged communication
How to Communicate with Teens who Talk Back

Do you find yourself in constant conflict with your teen? It may likely start with your child talking back or acting up, and it only escalates from there. It’s not uncommon for this to happen, and it’s certainly not pleasant either. Luckily, there are ways to avoid communication breakdowns and emotional meltdowns. By being mindful, keeping your emotions in check, and implementing DBT skills, you can deal with your teen’s back talk more effectively. Here are some tips to navigate conflict with your teen without facing an emotional rollercoaster….

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How to Share Concerns with your Child's Therapist

Is your child currently in therapy? Are you interested in therapy for your child? If so, it’s likely that you’ll want to share your concerns about your child with your child’s therapist. You may have concerns surrounding how they’re performing in school, behaviors that you’re seeing at home, or just general information you feel the therapist should know as the therapeutic process unfolds. It is completely normal for you to want to share, and there is an appropriate way to do so. The goal is to be able to articulate your point of view with their therapist while respecting your child’s perspective as well. Consider these three points when discussing treatment with your child’s therapist…

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What Went Wrong? Understanding Your Child's Reactions

Have you had trouble seeing eye to eye with your children lately? As your children get older and navigate increasingly complex emotions and situations, you may feel like you’re on totally different pages. One thing leads to the next, your emotions begin to spiral, and you’re in another full blown argument before you know it. You don’t have to be stuck in a cycle of chaos and confusion. By mapping out the chain of events and analyzing each step of the way, you can find points in which you could act differently and then change the outcome. The DBT skill Behavioral Chain Analysis walks you through the process. Behavioral Chain Analysis helps you determine what you could do differently when dealing with problematic behavior with your child. All you have to do is follow these steps…

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How to Ask for What You Need

The pandemic certainly has impacted our well-being and our relationships as a result! We’re being emotionally and physically taxed in a variety of new ways. They can lead to heightened emotions, feelings of overwhelm, and emotional instability; these all make it difficult to navigate interpersonal relationships. In order to feel validated and heard while also successfully asking for what you want during this difficult time, try using a well-known skill from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, DEARMAN. DEARMAN is a DBT skill that helps you be effective in getting what you want or asserting “NO.” Here’s how it works…

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3 Ways to Develop your Child’s Healthy Independence

As your child seeks independence, you may be asking yourself "What's the right balance?" Creating more independence is often a topic in family therapy and in therapy with teens. For parents, the struggle lies in giving your children enough space to make mistakes that they can learn from AND not so much space that it risks your child getting seriously hurt. It’s not easy to find middle ground between your child’s needs to be independent and venture out and your need to keep your child forever safe and close. So how do you strike a balance? Where is the line between creating independence and promoting safety? Here are 3 tips on how to approach this topic in your family discussions…

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How to Effectively Ask Your Kids to do What You Want

Do you find yourself asking your kids to do something 4 or 5 times before you finally give in, give up, and do it yourself? Sometimes, it can seem like your kids don’t care about the consequences of following through on daily tasks, or that they don’t care to listen to what you have to say. Yet ignoring your requests has impacts on you and the whole family. It’s one of every parent’s greatest dilemmas: How do you get your kids to do what you want? Try using the DEARMAN skill. DEARMAN is a fantastic DBT skill that improves communication and helps you get what you want—without yelling, whining, or conflicts. It’s an acronym with tips and techniques to make requests. Let’s explore how it works with a real-life example…

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How to Stick Up for Yourself in your Relationships

Do you ever feel like you’re not getting what you want from your relationships? This could be any relationship: a romantic relationship, a family relationship, a friendship, a work partnership, and so on. No matter what relationship you’re struggling with, don’t worry! Relationships can be tricky at times. It’s not always easy to ask for what you want or to find the courage to say “no” when you’re not comfortable. Luckily, there’s a DBT skill that is here to help you improve your assertiveness: the DEARMAN skill! It teaches you how to calmly and effectively ask and receive. Let’s learn about how it works…

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Reducing Conflicts with the THINK Skill

Do you find it difficult to work things out with others, but you’re not sure why? Often times, when we are interacting with others—particularly when we are disagreeing or arguing with someone else—we approach the situation with a negative mindset. Our brains naturally interpret the other person’s words and actions as negative or threatening. As a result, we jump to conclusions, quickly lash out, and become hostile or defensive. Our emotions (like anger and frustration) can take control of our actions during these situations. This clearly is not acting in an effective manner, especially if your goal is to improve your relationships and communicate in a more healthy way with others. Luckily, there’s a DBT skill which you can employ to reduce disagreements. Use the THINK skill to move from an Emotion Minded place into Wise Mind, where you are able to solve conflicts more effectively. Here’s how it works…

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