Managing Emotional Ups and Downs
Has your child been emotional lately? Do certain things make your teen feel angry, upset, or on-edge? Maybe the tone of your voice sets them off, or a passing thunderstorm dampens their mood for the day. It’s understandable that some things will make people feel one way or another. Sometimes (especially with added stress of a pandemic), experiences can be very emotionally triggering—so much so, that they cause teens to get stuck in negative emotions for longer than necessary.
Do you wish there was a way to help your teen not feel as frustrated by a friend who canceled Facetime plans or as anxious about ? Try using DBT skills, specifically emotion regulation skills! It’s simpler than you’d think…
What makes your teen vulnerable to emotional ups and downs?
It’s not as difficult as you might think to figure out what makes you vulnerable. Teens: start by thinking about recent moments when you felt intense emotions, like heavy sadness, powerful anger, or major anxiety. What caused you to feel that way? What was the trigger that set you off? Consider both internal and external factors, like stressful environments, having a negative past experience, feeling hungry, feeling tired, or other emotions. Everyone has different triggers. Make a note of what specific circumstances or conditions make you more susceptible to heightened emotions. Once you’re aware of your vulnerabilities, you can adjust your external and internal environment to reduce the odds of being overcome by emotions.
How does your teen typically respond to their vulnerabilities?
It’s important to not only be aware of what makes you emotionally vulnerable, but to also to be mindful of how you respond to your vulnerabilities. When under intense stress, how do you respond? What actions do you typically take? Do you lash out, do you isolate, or do you do something else? How does your body respond to those emotions? Do your hands clench in fists, does your heart rate speed up, do you feel fatigued? Be cognizant of your typical response and use it to recognize when you’re beginning to feel overcome by emotions. If you notice the signs before the emotions become too strong, you’ll be able to deal with your feelings more effectively.
What can your teen do to manage emotionally triggering situations?
You can take control of your emotions and manage emotionally triggering situations using coping skills. Coping skills will help you improve your ability to recognize, understand, accept, and regulate your emotions. One coping skill is TIPP, which is an acronym for taking your emotional temperature. The P’s in TIPP stand for “paced breathing” and “progressive muscle relaxation.” You can use paced breathing to slow down your breath and calm down. You exhale out for longer than you inhale in. Progressive muscle relaxation also lowers your emotional temperature, reducing emotional vulnerability. While breathing into your belly, tense your body muscles. Then exhale and relax. These are just two techniques that you can employ when you recognize that you are emotionally vulnerable.
It can be tricky for teens to keep their emotions in check. Emotion regulation skills are effective tools for teens to identify when they feel their emotions intensifying. Once they notice what makes them emotional and how their mind and body respond to these triggers, they can use coping skills to stay calm and composed.