Why It's Important to Accept Reality

Are you struggling with a problem that you just can’t solve? Do you want to make a change, but you don’t know how?

When facing a challenge, there are are various ways to respond. You can figure out a solution to the problem, you can change how you feel about the issue, you can accept reality, you can stay miserable, or you can make things worse by acting out or using negative coping skills. Unfortunately, it’s not always possible to come up with a solution or change how you feel about a problem. In those cases, try accepting reality by practicing radical acceptance. Let’s explore why it’s beneficial to accept reality and how radical acceptance works…

First, it’s important to accept reality because in order to make a change for the better, you must accept. Rejecting reality does not change reality. In fact, rejecting reality often turns pain into suffering. When you refuse to accept reality, you get stuck in negative emotions such as sadness, anger, shame, or bitterness. You will also cause yourself more suffering if you try to change things that you don’t have any control over. Some things are simply out of our control, whether we like it or not. It’s a waste of time and energy to fight things that are out of our control—so why fight things that you cannot change? Instead of feeling helpless or frustrated, it’s better to accept reality.

Radical Acceptance is a skill for accepting things the way that they are. It helps you accept the reality of a situation so that you can make a smart choice about how to respond. Radical acceptance means exactly what it sounds like: you accept reality, no matter what reality is. It is the opposite of "Why me?!" Instead, it is "Things are as they are."

The first part of radical acceptance is understanding what you cannot change. You must accept that some things are out of your control. You don’t have to like it, condone it, or agree with it, but you must accept the situation for what it is. For example, the past, other people, rules, laws, death, divorce, and loss are simply out of our control.

Then, recognize what you can change. Remember that there are still ways to turn a situation around, even when things seem daunting. You can change how long you choose to dwell on things, who you spend your time with, the choices you make, your DBT skill use, and your attitude, among other things. There are so many ways to make a change for the better!

Remember: Radical Acceptance does NOT mean giving up. It does NOT entail agreeing with the way things are, or liking the situation. Rather, it encourages us to accept a situation as it is; then, we can think calmly and rationally about an appropriate response. Radical acceptance puts us in a frame of mind to move forward most effectively.

Sometimes, we will face unpleasant situations or difficult problems. Those circumstances may make us feel helpless, confused, or frustrated. No matter what the situation, don’t feel defeated. Don’t be discouraged. But also, don’t deny what is currently going on. You don’t have to continue suffering at the hands of situations that are out of your control either. Instead, accept reality and change your response to a more positive one! Accepting reality can make a major impact in how you deal with life’s challenges.