Calming the Storm: Simple Self-Control Techniques for Teens
Teen years can come with big emotions, fast-changing situations, and plenty of stress. For many teens, managing emotional responses to stress can feel overwhelming. However, developing emotional regulation skills doesn’t have to be complicated. With simple breathing activities, practical coping strategies, and techniques to manage their emotions, teens can gain control over their reactions and strengthen their overall well-being.
Understanding Emotional Regulation
Emotional regulation is the ability to manage feelings, behaviors, and responses to stress. Teens who struggle with emotional regulation may react impulsively, feel overwhelmed quickly, or find it difficult to calm down after upsetting situations. By practicing emotional regulation techniques, they can create space between what they feel and how they respond.
The Power of Deep Breathing
One of the simplest and most effective techniques for calming the nervous system is deep breathing. When stress hits, the body’s “fight or flight” response activates, leading to racing thoughts, tension, and frustration. Deep breathing helps slow the heart rate, lower stress hormones, and restore balance.
Try these simple breathing exercises:
Box Breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, hold for four. Repeat for several rounds.
4-7-8 Breathing: Inhale for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale slowly for eight counts.
Five Finger Breathing: Trace your fingers while breathing in and out—inhale going up one side of a finger, exhale coming down the other.
Practicing these breathing activities regularly, not just in stressful moments, builds familiarity and confidence. This can ultimately help with managing the body’s response to stressful situations, calm down the nervous system in the moment, and build in some time between a triggering situation and the response.
Coping Strategies to help with Emotional Regulation
While deep breathing is a foundational tool, pairing it with other coping strategies can help teens manage their emotions effectively:
Pause Before Responding: Encourage teens to take a few seconds before reacting during stressful situations. In DBT, this is called the STOP skill.
S- Stop. Don’t move a muscle, freeze.
T- Take a step back. Physically or mentally take a step back from the situation, take a deep breath.
O- Observe. Look at what is happening inside of your body and around you. Notice your thoughts, feelings, and what is going on around you.
P- Proceed mindfully. Act with awareness. Think about how your actions will have an impact on others.
Grounding Techniques: Using senses to connect to the present moment—like noticing five things that you see or three things you hear—helps shift focus away from the current situation.
Journaling or Drawing: Writing or creating art provides an outlet to process emotions in a healthy way.
Physical Movement: Exercise, stretching, or even short walks release built-up tension and help regulate the nervous system.
These regulation techniques give teens tools they can turn to when facing stress and anxiety, whether at school, at home, or in social situations.
Practicing Mindfulness Daily
Practicing mindfulness can significantly improve emotional regulation. Setting aside even a few minutes each day to focus on breathing, guided meditations, or simply noticing thoughts without judgment can help teens stay present and reduce reactivity. Over time, mindfulness helps build resilience, supporting teens when they face challenging situations.
Building Long-Term Emotional Skills
Teaching teens coping strategies and self-regulation techniques early has lasting benefits. By practicing these skills consistently, they strengthen their ability to:
Stay calm under pressure
Manage their emotions during challenging tasks
Respond thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively
Reduce stress levels in day-to-day life
Supporting Teens Along the Way
Parents, teachers, and caregivers play an important role in helping teens practice these strategies. Modeling self-control, encouraging open conversations, and providing safe spaces to express emotions all reinforce healthy habits will be crucial in helping your teen with managing their emotional impulses.
Mindsoother can help teens learn to improve their emotion regulation through individual, family and group counseling. Mindsoother specializes in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, an evidence-based approach that teaches skills for managing intense emotions, reducing impulsive behaviors, and improving relationships. By practicing tools like mindfulness, distress tolerance, and emotional regulation, teens (and parents) can move from feeling overwhelmed to coping with challenges more effectively.