Ground Rules for Social Media: What Can You Do to Keep Your Kid Safe Online?

The internet is a part of everyone’s lives, including our children. Students use laptops in school (with some even providing laptops to take home), all your kid’s favorite shows are streaming, and almost everyone has a cellphone. How can we both monitor our child’s safety in a digital world, while also creating autonomy and promoting trust? The answer isn’t easy nor straightforward. Hopefully this article can create a conversation in your family, so that you can come up with the best approach for you. 

Here are some “ground rules” that might be useful for your family…

Discuss an age for signing up for social media -
Nowadays it may seem that truly “everyone” has an Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok. This may convince your child that they “need” a social media presence. Open up a dialogue about what your child would need their account for. If they don’t know, they’re probably not ready to have one yet. Talk about whether or not they should make their accounts public or private. Maybe they need to share their password with one trusted adult. (It doesn’t have to be you as the parent.) Remember, they probably want their social media to be a little independent. While you can give them some independence, you need to still let them know you’re in charge. Overall, begin a conversation with your child about what social media means to them and the role you both want it to play in their lives. 

Make sure they “friend” you -
If you have the social media talk and decide your child is ready to face the online world, make sure that you are a part of it. Your child may not necessarily want you to have access to everything they do online, as it can create tension and force your child to become more sneaky with their online usage. However it is important that you have an idea of what is going on with your child’s social media. While you probably know the basics of “friending” your mom on Facebook (which your child will complain and call it “cringe”), go a step further. Subscribe to their YouTube page, or follow their Twitter. It will allow you to monitor what they’re doing online from a safe distance, and also allow you to be more engaged with their interests. 

Establish a digital curfew -
While this may be harder to enforce in teenagers, it’s helpful to set up good media usage habits in children, such as a curfew for electronics. Not only is excessive screen time not good for them, but kids feel like they can get away with more at night. They might try logging on to sites they know they shouldn’t be on when their parents aren’t around the corner. That R rated scary movie on Netflix looks a lot more enticing when your parent is asleep. If you take away the iPad after hours, the problem is less likely to occur. 

Trust your own parenting -
Trust that you’ve taught your child well and instilled good values in them. You know they’ll make smart decisions online because you’ve taught them to make good decisions in life. Making sure your child is safe online requires trust on both ends, and requires you to trust yourself. 

There isn’t an easy answer to parenting this generation of kids as they grow up on social media. But it is important to set a framework in this complex, digital-dependent world. Talk to your child about internet usage and its role in your lives, and develop a plan together that works best for you.