How Radical Acceptance Can Help Teens During a Pandemic
It’s totally understandable for teens to be feeling heightened emotions lately. It can be challenging for teens to deal with being cooped up at home, not getting to see friends, and feeling like they have no control.
The current situation may seem crazy, unfair, or just plain frustrating to your teen. While it’s valid to see things this way, constant negative thinking can take its toll on your teen’s mental health. It can get them stuck in unhappiness, anger, shame, sadness, bitterness, or other painful emotions.
Don’t let negative thinking as a result of the pandemic get your teen down! Let DBT skills like radical acceptance help you and your teen through this challenging time.
Radical acceptance skill of accepting the things that you cannot change. It doesn’t mean that your teen has to like the current situation or agree with it. Instead, when your teen cannot solve a problem or change how they feel about the problem, encourage them to try acceptance as a way of reducing their suffering.
Why bother accepting reality?
When teens are stuck in a “why me?” mindset, they may wonder why they should bother accepting reality? Why should they accept the pandemic for what it is? Here’s the thing—coronavirus isn’t going anywhere in the next few days. This is their reality for the indefinite future. Rejecting reality or saying “This is the worst!” does not change reality or make it any better. If anything, it turns pain into suffering. It makes an already unpleasant situation feel even worse. Changing their reality requires accepting it first. When your teen stops fighting reality, stops throwing tantrums about reality, and lets go of bitterness, they begin to practice radical acceptance. They begin to acknowledge that things aren’t going to change, so they might as well make the best of it.
It’s okay to grieve life before coronavirus.
Let your teen know that it’s okay to miss life before the coronavirus hit. They have every right to miss seeing their friends, going to camp, having summer adventures, and spending time at the beach. Everyone experiences different types of loss due to the pandemic. While your teen can’t control missing out on experiences and feeling loss, they can control how they respond to it. Encourage your child to feel his/her/their feelings. They should allow their emotions in, acknowledge how they feel, and then let the feelings go without letting them linger for longer than necessary. That way, the big emotions don’t hold them back from having a safe and enjoyable summer.
Cultivate acceptance through your self-talk.
Radical acceptance isn’t a one-time deal. It’s a journey, just as the pandemic is a long-term process. Remember to be willing to accept reality as it continuously changes. Your teen can continue to cultivate acceptance through their self-talk. When “should’s” arise in their mind, like “I should have been in Europe right now,” or “I should be having fun with my friends,” be aware of them. Recognize that “should’s” are signs of refusing reality. Your teen may tell themselves, “Yeah, I’m having another ‘should’ thought. While I can’t control what I could have or should have been doing right now, I can make this moment better by...” The goal is to be aware of negative self-talk, experience negative emotions as they come and go, and focus on what they can control instead. It empowers them to turn negative moments into positive ones.
This pandemic is very challenging for teens to cope with. It’s tough dealing with the loss of exciting experiences, social connections, and the independence that typically comes with the summer months. The first step in finding hope during the pandemic is to accept it. By practicing radical acceptance, your teen can come to terms with the reality of the pandemic and develop healthy ways to cope with daily struggles.