How to Cope When Your Child Goes to College

For much of a child’s life, parents focus on how to prepare their child for the next lifestep. The high school years are centered around researching schools, completing applications, and taking standardized and placement exams. When so much energy is focused on finishing high school and getting into college, there is little space to prepare for the huge shift that will impact the household when a child finally leaves for college. 

It is normal for parents and families to experience a mix of emotions during this life transition. Joy, pride, hope, loss, sadness, and longing are amongst the spectrum of emotions one might feel. Though it will never be easy sending your child off to college, there are a number of ways to prepare for the impending change.

Talk about it. Sending your child off to college impacts the entire family system. It is important to acknowledge with oneself as well as others in the family that there are big feelings associated with a child leaving for college. Create opportunities to discuss any feelings that might be coming up for family members. Validate the mixed emotions that the family may be experiencing.. 

Prioritize Self-Care. There may be feelings of loss after dropping a college student off at their dorm room. Create a self-care plan to follow this milestone. Some ideas might include dedicating a day to relaxation, planning a day trip or exciting event, or scheduling an appointment with a therapist. Honor whatever personal needs arise. 

Check in. It is important to not only check in with oneself, but also with your college student and family members as the adjustment period continues. For example, siblings will continue to adjust to their new experience and role within the family system long after their sibling goes away to school. 

Make Plans. Find family events to look forward to! Take a look at the calendar as a family and identify dates and times for upcoming visits. Make plans for how you might spend time together. 

Remember that although the transition to college is a difficult time for some, it is a huge milestone! Ensure that your college student has the opportunity to celebrate their achievement and honor the positive feelings associated with college life.

As the household adjusts, parents may experience feelings related to the empty nest phase. The process of saying goodbye when children leave home can be challenging for many empty nesters. Making regular phone calls to check in with your young adults can help maintain connection and support their mental health throughout this time. It’s important to recognize that the time when young adults head off to college is a major life moment for both parents and children.