How to Help Your Child After a Relapse

When a child relapses, it can be difficult for both the child and the parent. When we typically think of relapse, we tend to think of drugs and alcohol and the toll it takes on a person and their family. However, relapsing isn’t only limited to substance abuse. People can relapse with any kind of addictive behavior, such as self-harm, eating disorder behavior, or social media addiction. It is important that we have open communication with our kids about addictive behaviors, how to avoid them, and how to broach the topic of relapse if we know our child is struggling with an addiction of any kind. 

We often think about addition from outside of the looking glass; we don’t think it as something that could impact us or our families. However, it’s more common that you think. According to the National Center for Drug Abuse Statistics, 1 in 8 teenagers have abused an illicit substance in the last year, 62% of seniors in high school have abused alcohol, and 50% of teenagers have misused a drug at least once. About 17% of adolescents have admitted to participating in self-injurious behaviors; in fact, they have the highest rate among all age groups. 30 million people in the US have an eating disorder, and 95% of those people with eating disorders are between the ages of 12 and 25. It’s evident that addiction may be more prevalent in your community, or even in your household, than you might think. 

If your child is struggling with addiction and has relapsed, there are specific ways that you can support them and let them know you are a support they can lean on. Here are some ways to help your child after a relapse…

1. Offer encouragement –
   Addiction can be hard for those going through it; when they relapse, it may bring up self-deprecating thoughts or cause low self-esteem. As a parent, be the encouragement your child needs to overcome those negative thoughts. Remind them that this relapse is not a moral issue, and there is nothing wrong with them. They are not a failure and can still get the support they need. Let them know you are there for them, and that they are strong for coming to you and talking about the issue. Even if you were the one to open up the topic, they are still engaging in a difficult conversation with you.
   Don’t be afraid to ask questions either. We may think we are helping with our optimism or our “get back on the horse” attitude, but they may just need someone to listen to them sort out their options and thoughts. Try asking “what is the best way I help you right now?” or “ what do you need from me at this moment?”

2. Avoid risk factors –
   This may seem like a no-brainer, but many things can trigger addictive behaviors that we don’t even think about. Talk to your child about their triggers, and try to think about what ways you can help. Remove any alcohol from the house. Lock up scissors and knives. Get rid of the scale in the bathroom. For the time being, also try to limit your child to certain environments that may be triggering for them.

3. Encourage treatment –
   Addiction is a disease. If your child was sick with the flu, they would go to the doctor. If your child is struggling with addiction, seek out a mental health professional to help your child through the treatment process. If you have already sought out treatment, encourage a consistent schedule with treatment such as weekly sessions, or an intensive outpatient program if more care is needed. Having routine and steady support is key. In addition, addiction interferes with the way we think and how we go about doing daily tasks. Therapy can help manage troublesome thoughts and manage triggers that lead to relapse. 

4. Remind your child that it is not their fault –
   Specifically with substance abuse addiction, the relapse rate is between 40 and 60%. This means that about half of people with a substance abuse issue will relapse and stumble in their recovery. They are not alone, and this is not the only reflection of who they are as a person. They now have the opportunity to grow and learn. One stumble doesn’t mean they cannot get to the end goal. There will be ups and downs on their journey towards overcoming addiction.

Addiction affects more people than even researchers know for sure. Whether it’s substance addiction, eating disorder behavior addiction, or addiction of another kind, addiction is not as rare as you’d think. Reported rates of addiction are rising throughout the years, potentially due to more people recognizing their addiction. The first step in recovery is being aware that there is a problem. Then, it’s all about taking the necessary steps to overcome the addiction, one day at a time. Be the support your child needs in their recovery, whether they’re facing a crisis for the first time or continuing their struggle with addiction.