My Child is Starting Therapy… What Should I Do?

Give yourself a pat on the back for getting your child to come see a therapist! It’s no easy feat to get your child to work through their challenges—like trouble with self-esteem, behavioral issues, and school-related struggles, to name a few. So, you got them in the door… now what? How can you help your child “get better”? Is there something you can do to help them through the process? The short answer is yes! Here are some steps you can take to support your child through therapy…

Model positive behavior at home -
Your child’s journey is not limited to the therapy room. They will learn and grow by observing and modeling your behavior just as much—if not more—than from their therapist. Often subconsciously, your child will pick up on your behavior and emulate it in their daily life. So let’s say that you and your partner are arguing and your immediate reaction is to raise your voice, talk poorly about your partner, etc. In this moment, you’re sending a message to your child that this is an appropriate way to respond to things or people that frustrate you. Now let’s say instead of reacting in that manner, you take a minute to pause and consider your response. Instead, you tell your partner that you are getting angry and that you need to walk away to cool down before continuing the conversation. Now, you are modeling a healthy response to frustration and showing your child that it is okay to set boundaries, take breaks, and communicate with someone about the way you are feeling…In effect, you’re creating and modeling a set of positive behavioral norms!

Consider therapy for yourself -
You’ve placed enough value on therapy to involve your child…why not get involved yourself? Starting therapy for yourself is a great way to show your child that therapy isn’t as daunting as it seems. Everyone has room for improvement, so why not prioritize your mental health? In starting therapy, you’re demonstrating that you want to improve yourself as an individual and as a parent. You can even share your thoughts and feelings about therapy with your child as a way to connect. You might say, “I’m scared about therapy too, but I’m able to push through because I know it’s important.” Or you might say, “Talking about your feelings is key. I value it too.” If you show your child that you’re taking therapy seriously and that you’re committed to improving yourself, your child is more likely to be invested in their own therapy too.

Be your child’s biggest cheerleader -
The best way you can support your chid through therapy is to give them positive encouragement. If you notice them changing problem behavior, give them credit for it. For example, let’s say that your child normally gets into a fit of negative self-talk when they don’t understand how to do their math homework. But this time, they take a deep breath and they calmly ask you for help with the math problem. Tell them “I noticed that you didn’t put yourself down when you couldn’t understand how to solve this. I’m proud of you for recognizing your feelings and responding in a healthy way.” This will encourage your child to respond similarly next time.

Starting therapy could be a game-changer for your child, yourself, and your family. As your child begins the process, know that you play a major role in their journey. They will observe and model your behavior, so be mindful of how you react to your own daily challenges. At the same time, consider therapy for yourself. You could set the precedent that mental health is important and show your child firsthand that you are serious about making a change for the better. In addition, support your child through recognition and praise. Encourage them to keep up the hard work, because it will only benefit them in the long run!