Rules of the Road: Parenting a New Driver
Your child is growing up. They just got back from the DMV with a glowing smile and a (most likely) unflattering photo. While you are excited for them and their newfound freedom, it’s just as fair for you to feel scared about what this freedom and responsibility means. Parenting a new driver comes with many questions: How much freedom do they have, now that they can drive themselves without your supervision? How can you make sure that they are safe? How will they handle this new responsibility? Here are some tips for navigating this new stage…
1. Take a Deep Breath
You’re going to be nervous for your new driver; it’s inevitable. But remember, you were also new to the road at one point. Trust them a little, and know that you have prepared them for their adventures on the road, either by helping them directly or getting them lessons. The only way they can learn is through firsthand experience.
2. Lead By Example
As older drivers, we may have developed some bad habits. Perhaps we eat while driving and only put one hand on the wheel, or we drive slightly faster than we should. Remember anything that you would want your teen to be doing, you should be modeling in the car. Be sure to follow the basic rules that we learn at first (and sometimes ignore): wear your seatbelt, don’t text and drive, keep your eyes on the road, and don’t ignore car maintenance issues.
3. Set a reasonable curfew
Despite getting their license, your child is still your child and that means that they have to follow the rules you set. Talk with your new driver and come up with an agreed upon curfew. Having an open and honest conversation right in the beginning can be helpful to let each other know your expectations. Will there inevitably be a night they want to stay out later? Probably, but at least they know they can come talk to you about it in the future and you can feel better knowing where they are.
4. Have a conversation about driving impairments
While you’re sitting and talking about a new curfew, bring up your concerns about driving distractions and impairments. It is important that new drivers understand the dangers of driving while under the influence of alcohol or drugs, and that driving while sleep deprived or while on certain medications can be just as dangerous. Try to maintain an open dialogue about these concerns (even after your initial conversation), and let your child know that they always have your or another trusted adult to go to if they are concerned about themselves or a friend getting behind the wheel after a few drinks.
No matter what, you are going to be nervous for your teen. Overconfidence and a lack of skill can be a dangerous combination, but keeping an open dialogue and setting guidelines together can help ease your mind as they pull out of the driveway. Help your new driver get the experience they need in a safe manner and be a trusted source that they can come to with questions along the way.