Staying in “Wise Mind” During Holiday Celebrations

With holiday parties still in full swing this week, and new years right around the corner, it can be hard to stay grounded and relaxed with all the chaos. There is a lot going on at this time of the year and decisions can be harder to make. The DBT skill, “Wise Mind,” can help you recognize your reactions to the chaos and how to channel them into better reactions to your full plate. 

Your mind has three states: emotional, reasonable, and wise. The emotional mind is when your thoughts and behaviors are controlled by your feelings. You may act more impulsively during this time. This also may look like how you “want” to respond. Reasonable mind is when you make your decisions purely based on fact. You approach the situation more intellectually and don’t consult your emotions. This may look like how you think you “should” respond. 

Wise mind is the perfect mix of the two. You are able to see the facts of the situation and respond accordingly while also being in tune with your emotions and how the situation made you feel. You are able to access your emotions and your rational thoughts. When you make a decision in wise mind you are more likely to be in touch with your inner values as well. 

During the holidays, a lot of people struggle with making decisions in wise mind. It can be too easy to let our emotions take over, or the opposite, and allow ourselves to become detached from our decisions. Taking a moment to pause and reflect to a situation and engage in wise mind can help us respond the way we actually want to and avoid the holiday conflicts that are all too common.