How to Support Your Teen As They Transition Back to School
The summer season is often a much needed time to slow down. “Back to school” is a phrase that creeps up on us more quickly each year. For many teens, this three word phrase holds a lot of emotion. “Back to school” represents some pretty big transitions for teens. Simply returning to the structure of a school day can be a huge adjustment for teens. In addition, they have the expectation to manage their work in and out of school, balance that with clubs and sports, keep up with their social lives, and maybe even college prep or applications. Our teens have a lot of pressure on them.
Now that school has been in session for a couple of weeks, expectations start to build up a bit more and the day to say structure completely shifts at home. This can be stressful on both parents and kids. If you or your child felt somewhat unprepared transitioning into the next school year, this is a time to take a deep breath and ground in the moment. You got this!
The emotion regulation skill ABC PLEASE is a DBT skill that can be incredibly useful to manage stress and prioritize self- care as teens transition back to school this year and have to navigate new expectations. Parents can help to incorporate these skills at home by stepping in when possible, talking with their teens about how to take care of themselves, and offering support when needed. The following are the basic steps to ABC PLEASE:
Accumulate positive emotions by doing pleasant things that are possible now and make changes to improve the future. Pleasant things can be anything that your teen enjoys! Maybe it is engaging in a specific hobby or spending time with friends. When there is less time for hobbies, encourage them to build positive experiences into their responsibilities such as listening to music or having a cup of tea while they work.
Build mastery by encouraging your child to do the things that make them feel competent and confident. Doubt can creep up as kids have to manage more intense and engaging material in school. Focus on and make time for the areas that your child feels confident in. If they are struggling, discuss ways they can gain confidence such as practicing or working with a tutor, coach, or mentor.
Cope ahead by planning and rehearsing ahead of time in order to enter stressful situations like tests or performances feeling well prepared. Discuss coping skills such as taking deep breaths and utilizing support as needed so that your child has a plan before stressful events. It can also ease day to day stress to go to bed feeling prepared for the next day. A nightly checklist might help teens organize so they wake up feeling calm.
Treat Physical ILlness by encouraging your child to rest when sick and take vitamins and medications as prescribed by their physician.
Balance Eating by encouraging your child to eat enough, be mindful of nutrition, and enjoy in moderation. Help your child prepare meals that are nutritious and ensure that they are eating enough to fuel them throughout the school day as they now have a higher demand of energy.
Avoid mood altering substances by limiting caffeine, drugs, alcohol, and sugar. Teens often feel urges to use caffeine to stay on top of their school work and activities. They will be exposed to more risky behaviors as they enter high school. Talk to your teen about being exposed to these pressures. Educate them on the health consequences and help them feel confident in their values and decision making.
Get the right amount of Sleep every night. 7-9 hours per night is typically recommended. If your child is staying up late doing homework, check in about ways they can manage their time more effectively. Remove devices from their rooms late at night to encourage good sleep habits.
Exercise regularly. Moving one’s body is a great way to manage stress and improve mental and physical health. Encourage your child to move in ways that are fun for them such as participating in sports, dancing, or engaging in group activities with family or friends.
Remember that with any adjustment it is normal to experience some distress around the time of transition. These points are great ways to help your teen adjust to a new school year. If you notice distress continues into the year it is important to communicate with your teen’s school counselor and therapist if applicable to identify more helpful skills and resources.