Setting expectations for your child is meant to be helpful. But, when is it harmful? Similar to a tightrope, expectations can be tricky to navigate and acrobats (in this case, your child) often require the perfect combination of skill, training, and coaching to be able to successfully get across. So when you set expectations for your child you should consider whether or not you are setting your child up to succeed (meet the expectations) or fail (not meet the expectations).
Read MoreSeeing your child struggle may be one of the most difficult things to experience as a parent. Whether it’s watching them fall down at the playground or reading their rejection letter from their top choice college, it’s equally painful to witness. As a parent, your instinct is to fix your child’s problem or soothe their pain as quickly as possible. But what if the distress you’re feeling is more about your own discomfort than your child’s? The secret to being a supportive parent is helping your child without enabling them. Where do you draw the line between being there for your kid and doing the hard work for your kid? And how do you manage the stress that comes along with this? Here are some helpful tips…
Read MoreDid you know that anyone can be misgendered? You don’t have to be trans to be referred to as the wrong gender or talked about with the wrong pronouns. However, trans people are common recipients of misgendering. Misgendering trans people can have very negative effects. You may not even realize you are hurting your trans child when you do this. Using new pronouns and a new name can be hard to adjust to, especially when it is someone you’ve known all of their life. However, it is important to put in that extra effort and correct your mistakes. Here’s why it’s important to be mindful about pronouns and what you can do to make the switch more seamless…
Read MoreAs a parent, validation is key. You’ve probably heard parenting experts use the term to help you connect with your child. But what does validation really mean? How does it work? And what does it look like when put to practice? Here’s everything you need to know about validation, and how it can become your most powerful parenting tool…
Read MoreIt’s natural—we don’t want our kids to fail. When we see them struggling, our instincts tell us to jump in before they reach danger, whether it’s real danger or perceived. We give our children advice and intervene when we think they are making the “wrong” decisions. However, the truth is that even though seeing our kids fail is hard, it is important to let them do so. Failure will make them stronger, as difficult as it is to witness. Here are some reasons why we should consider taking a step back…
Read MoreDoes your child struggle with managing their emotions or maintaining healthy interactions with others? Your instinct may be to enroll them in individual therapy and have them talk to a therapist one-on-one. However, individual therapy is not your only option. Consider group therapy as well! Group therapy might be a better fit, or it may be a helpful supplement to individual therapy sessions. How exactly does group therapy help your child? What are the benefits of this type of therapy compared to a one-on-one session? We’ll explain…
Read MoreDoes your child feel pressured by perfectionism? Do they do everything they can to get perfect grades, memorize all of their lines in the school play, or score for their team in every sports game? Whether we realize it or not, we tend to feed into our children’s desire to be perfect in a certain aspect of life or to know exactly what they are going to do when they grow up. Perfectionist tendencies can have a series impact on your child’s mental health. In extreme cases, this can lead to things such as anxiety, depression and eating disorders. How can you help your child find balance in their life while encouraging them to do their best? Here are some tips…
Read MoreThe internet is a part of everyone’s lives, including our children. Students use laptops in school (with some even providing laptops to take home), all your kid’s favorite shows are streaming, and almost everyone has a cellphone. How can we both monitor our child’s safety in a digital world, while also creating autonomy and promoting trust? The answer isn’t easy nor straightforward. Hopefully this article can create a conversation in your family, so that you can come up with the best approach for you. Here are some “ground rules” that might be useful for your family…
Read MoreIt’s been a roller coaster of a ride and you feel emotionally drained. There are many logistics to consider, but the biggest one weighing on your mind? It’s how to tell the kids. Here are some helpful tips when talking to your children about divorce…
Read MoreHave you had trouble seeing eye to eye with your children lately? As your children get older and navigate increasingly complex emotions and situations, you may feel like you’re on totally different pages. One thing leads to the next, your emotions begin to spiral, and you’re in another full blown argument before you know it. You don’t have to be stuck in a cycle of chaos and confusion. By mapping out the chain of events and analyzing each step of the way, you can find points in which you could act differently and then change the outcome. The DBT skill Behavioral Chain Analysis walks you through the process. Behavioral Chain Analysis helps you determine what you could do differently when dealing with problematic behavior with your child. All you have to do is follow these steps…
Read MoreHave you been getting more involved in your kids’ online learning? Many parents are stepping in this school year to support their children with online learning so that they don’t fall behind academically. But have you ever considered the impact of your added involvement on your children’s executive functioning skills? Executive functioning skills are the set of skills that your child doesn’t get graded for; however, they do play a key role in learning and earning high marks. Strong executive functioning skills allow kids to organize, prioritize, and complete tasks effectively. With remote learning, strive to find a balance between stepping in to help and stepping back to let your kid figure things out on their own and develop vital executive functioning skills. Here are some strategies to help you and your children this school year...
Read MoreDo you find yourself asking your kids to do something 4 or 5 times before you finally give in, give up, and do it yourself? Sometimes, it can seem like your kids don’t care about the consequences of following through on daily tasks, or that they don’t care to listen to what you have to say. Yet ignoring your requests has impacts on you and the whole family. It’s one of every parent’s greatest dilemmas: How do you get your kids to do what you want? Try using the DEARMAN skill. DEARMAN is a fantastic DBT skill that improves communication and helps you get what you want—without yelling, whining, or conflicts. It’s an acronym with tips and techniques to make requests. Let’s explore how it works with a real-life example…
Read MoreAs parents, it’s normal to feel a little uneasy about our kids using social media for the first time. We’re well aware of the negative consequences of social media use, and we want to make sure that our children use it safely. Whether we like it or not, social media isn’t going anywhere. Apps like Snapchat, Instagram, and Twitter have become platforms for socialization and exploration. Luckily, there are positive aspects to responsible social media usage as well. Let’s explore how social media can be beneficial and how to guide your child into appropriate social media usage…
Read MoreDo your children have trouble falling or staying asleep? Do your kids feel sleepy during the day? It doesn’t matter your age—if you don’t get enough quality sleep, you are more likely to feel tired as you go about your day. That’s why it’s important to practice good sleep hygiene. “Sleep hygiene” refers to good sleep habits. Parents should aim to establish healthy sleep habits for their children, especially since children require additional sleep for their growth and development. Healthy, quality sleep is important for your children’s physical and mental health; in can improve their mood, productivity, and alertness. Don’t worry—just like eating well, being active, and doing homework, good sleep habits can become part of your routine. Here are some tips to help your children feel more restful, agreeable, and ready to confront the many challenges of the day…
Read MoreIt is not uncommon for parents of kids with unpredictable, frequently changing, or intense emotions to struggle with their own emotions when making parenting decisions. Parents tend to get caught in the trap of “extreme” or “black and white” parenting decisions—for example, either being too loose or too strict with rules. There are so many factors involved in making parenting decisions that it isn’t fitting to choose one extreme or the other. Parenting is all about balance—and so is DBT, or Dialectical Behavior Therapy. When you are dialectical, you are able to find balance, like the balance between acceptance and change. Interested in learning more about DBT? This is how you can adopt a dialectical approach in order to make parenting a bit easier…
Read MoreCan you believe that summer is ending already? Even just thinking about the first day of school can bring on a sinking feeling for students and parents alike. We’ve grown so accustomed to late nights with the family and worry-free summer days that it’s no wonder we’re dreading the school year routine. Between new classes, new teachers, and maybe even a new school, all of the unknowns can be daunting. Luckily, there are ways to smooth the transition back to school. Here are some tips to ease your family back into the swing of things…
Read More
