My Child Says They Are Gay - What Do I Do?

If your child comes to you to have a conversation about them being gay or queer, it can be tempting to think of this as just a phase—something that is a growing fad as we see more and more teenagers coming out as queer nowadays. However, most likely this isn’t a phase; this is likely the beginning of the process of your child figuring out their identity. According to a study at William’s Institute, about 9.5% of youth in America, or roughly 1,994,000 teenagers from ages 13 to 17, identify as LGBTQ+. It’s likely that your teen is going to have a friend who is part of the LGBTQ+ community or that they will identify as part of it themselves. Fortunately, the world is a more accepting place than it was just a decade ago, and this can allow LGBTQ+ youth to feel more comfortable identifying as queer. Here are some parenting tips to help you be supportive of your newly out or questioning teen….

How to Help Your Child After a Relapse

When a child relapses, it can be difficult for both the child and the parent. When we typically think of relapse, we tend to think of drugs and alcohol and the toll it takes on a person and their family. However, relapsing isn’t only limited to substance abuse. People can relapse with any kind of addictive behavior, such as self harm or eating disorder behavior. It is important that we have open communication with our kids about addictive behaviors, how to avoid them, and how to broach the topic of relapse if we know our child is struggling with an addiction of any kind. If your child is struggling with addiction and has relapsed, there are specific ways that you can support them and let them know you are a support they can lean on. Here are some ways to help your child after a relapse…

Ground Rules for Social Media: What Can You Do to Keep Your Kid Safe Online?

The internet is a part of everyone’s lives, including our children. Students use laptops in school (with some even providing laptops to take home), all your kid’s favorite shows are streaming, and almost everyone has a cellphone. How can we both monitor our child’s safety in a digital world, while also creating autonomy and promoting trust? The answer isn’t easy nor straightforward. Hopefully this article can create a conversation in your family, so that you can come up with the best approach for you. Here are some “ground rules” that might be useful for your family…

Rules of the Road: Parenting a New Driver

Your child is growing up. They just got back from the DMV with a glowing smile and a (most likely) unflattering photo. While you are excited for them and their newfound freedom, it’s just as fair for you to feel scared about what this freedom and responsibility means. Parenting a new driver comes with many questions: How much freedom do they have, now that they can drive themselves without your supervision? How can you make sure that they are safe? How will they handle this new responsibility? Here are some tips for navigating this new stage…

Are You a Good Listener?

We’ve heard the question “Are you listening?” many times since childhood. But what does that mean exactly? What makes a person a good listener and why is it important? Effective listening isn’t just hearing and receiving auditory information. It’s a practiced skill that can strengthen and deepen your relationships. Whether it be applied to work or while at home, being a good listener is a helpful skill when trying to resolve conflicts, strengthen empathy, and build connections with others. Good listening skills boost positive interactions with others, leading to a better overall well-being. Here are some tips…

How to Combat Holiday Stress

It’s that time of the year again! Our schedules are jam packed with plenty of to-do’s like gift lists, travel plans and family gatherings, amongst others. For some people, it can be an exciting and joyful time. For others, it can be a very stressful time that causes a sense of overwhelm. Regardless, setting up expectations beforehand can help ease the potential stress of the holidays. Here are some tips…

Talking To Your Kids About Divorce

It’s been a roller coaster of a ride and you feel emotionally drained. There are many logistics to consider, but the biggest one weighing on your mind? It’s how to tell the kids. Here are some helpful tips when talking to your children about divorce…

How to Advocate for Yourself in your Relationships

Do you ever feel like your relationships aren’t going well for you? Do you find that you give in more often than not? Do you tend to have a passive role in your relationships? No matter what kind of relationship you’re struggling with, don’t worry! It can be challenging to ask for what you want or to find the courage to say “no” when you’re uncomfortable. If you’re looking for a way to improve your assertiveness, try using the DEARMAN skill! It’s an interpersonal effectiveness DBT skill, which means that it’s designed to help you communicate better with others. It teaches you how to calmly and effectively ask and receive. Let’s learn about how it works…

How to Keep your Cool as a Parent

Do you have trouble keeping your cool when parenting your teen? Do certain behaviors of theirs cause you to lose your temper? It’s understandably challenging to deal with teens’ emotional up and downs while keeping your own emotions in check. Therefore, taking a dialectical approach to parenting might be helpful for you. Being a dialectical parent means finding balance—specifically, balance between opposites. There is an opposite to everything in life, and we tend to be most effective when we balance those opposing ideas. By finding balance between things that seem completely opposite to you, like a draining day and a calm mind, you can manage your teen without the emotional strain. Are you ready to apply dialectics to your parenting?

Getting Your Family Ready For Back To School

As summer winds down, the new school year is almost here. This time of year brings a sense of nervousness and dread for many families as they think about the daunting task of prepping for back-to-school. The summer days are full of relaxation without much structure, but now as the school year looms closer it’s time to get back into routine. Here are a few tips to get yourself and your family ready for the school year ahead…

Practicing Conscious Parenting

Parenting has its ups and downs. When your children are getting along and they’re in good moods, it’s wonderful. But when one child is misbehaving, or another child’s behavior is out of control, you may naturally feel frustrated, concerned, and unsure of how to respond. While there isn’t a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting, there are ways to reduce stress and help your children grow. One option is conscious parenting. Conscious parenting is a mindful, parent-focused approach. The central idea is that in order to help your children, you must first help yourself. Let’s learn more about how to be a conscious parent…

How to Respond to Your Child who Self-Harms

It can be scary to learn that your child is self-harming. It may make you feel anxious, concerned, and confused. You may not know how to respond to self-harm behaviors. Fortunately, you are not alone in helping your child who self-harms. Many licensed therapists are specialists in working with teens who self-harm. There is hope! Seek help immediately if you think your child might be engaging in self-injurious behavior. Here are some steps you can take as a parent to support your child during the process…

Distraction: An Impactful Parenting Tool

Parents are faced with a variety of different challenging situations from day to day. From managing the kids’ online activities to breaking up arguments to preparing meals that everyone will enjoy, the stress can add up. In these situations, it might feel difficult to deal with intense or painful emotions as they arise. Ineffective ways of managing a crisis may help in the short term, but they can end up making things worse. Use crisis management skills like Wise Mind ACCEPTS when you feel yourself reaching your threshold to Emotion Mind or if you feel your emotional temperature rising…

How Parents can Manage Emotional Vulnerabilities

Do you ever wonder why you sometimes find yourself acting up or lashing out from intense emotions? It’s possible that you’re being triggered by your emotional vulnerabilities. Vulnerabilities are underlying factors that make it more likely for a person to act emotionally. Parents can be especially vulnerable to their emotions because they’re investing more time in their children and less time in themselves. When healthy self-care practices are neglected, it can leave people more emotionally vulnerable. Luckily, learning how to manage these specific vulnerabilities can help you avoid acting in irrational ways. Start managing your emotional vulnerabilities with the PLEASE skills…

Maintaining Your Self-Respect as a Parent

Parenting as we used to know it (pre-pandemic) has radically changed! We are now being challenged with multi-tasking and problem-solving novel situations with no road map or clear answers. Although positive parenting is possible right now, it certainly is challenging! To feel both effective AND simultaneously good about yourself while navigating this challenging time, use the Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skill of FAST to maintain your self-respect as a parent. FAST is helps you keep your self-respect in relationships by honoring your own values and beliefs. Let’s explore how it works…

How to Validate AND Parent your Child

As a parent, it’s important to find a balance between making sure your child feels heard and parenting effectively. This is often easier said than done! It can be challenging to be your child’s friend to count on while maintaining boundaries and structure as a parent. Luckily, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, or DBT, can help! In DBT, building and maintaining healthy relationships is a key component to interpersonal effectiveness. One interpersonal skill, the “GIVE” skill, can help you achieve this parenting balance within your household. Here’s how it works…

How to Ask for What You Need

The pandemic certainly has impacted our well-being and our relationships as a result! We’re being emotionally and physically taxed in a variety of new ways. They can lead to heightened emotions, feelings of overwhelm, and emotional instability; these all make it difficult to navigate interpersonal relationships. In order to feel validated and heard while also successfully asking for what you want during this difficult time, try using a well-known skill from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, DEARMAN. DEARMAN is a DBT skill that helps you be effective in getting what you want or asserting “NO.” Here’s how it works…

Creative Ways to Bond with your Teen During a Pandemic

Do you wish you had a stronger bond with your teen? Although you may be living underneath the same roof as your teen, it may feel as though you’re miles away from them. You may be physically close, yet emotionally distant. This year has been emotionally tolling on most people and your teen is no exception. When you are both under such strain, it can be more challenging than ever to find common ground. You don’t have to let the stress and monotony of a pandemic get in the way of cultivating positive experiences with your child. Consider these three creative ways to reconnect and bond with your teen during the next few months…

How Parents can Promote Patience at Home

Do you get easily frustrated with your family? Maybe it’s the way your kids chew with their mouths open or the way your partner stacks the dishes in the sink that gets on your nerves. These minor bothers can get exacerbated during a pandemic. Your emotions are only heightened with the added stress of health, financial, and social concerns. With so many things to worry about, it’s understandable that the little things might put your emotional state over the edge. One of the best ways to keep your cool during a pandemic is to practice patience. Patience is more than being able to wait for something or someone. It’s also the ability to tolerate unpleasant situations without getting angry or upset (without getting into Emotion Mind, as it’s called in DBT). Parents who are patient are better able to handle daily challenges within the family without losing their cool. Like playing the piano or riding a bike, patience is a learned skill that you can strengthen over time. Here are some ways to cultivate patience…

Supporting Kids with Online Learning: When to Step In and When to Step Back

Have you been getting more involved in your kids’ online learning? Many parents are stepping in this school year to support their children with online learning so that they don’t fall behind academically. But have you ever considered the impact of your added involvement on your children’s executive functioning skills? Executive functioning skills are the set of skills that your child doesn’t get graded for; however, they do play a key role in learning and earning high marks. Strong executive functioning skills allow kids to organize, prioritize, and complete tasks effectively. With remote learning, strive to find a balance between stepping in to help and stepping back to let your kid figure things out on their own and develop vital executive functioning skills. Here are some strategies to help you and your children this school year...

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